The Pretender

Jackson Browne was in town a few weeks ago, along with one keyboard and 16 (yes, I counted) acoustic guitars. Many of his songs are poetry and commentary. "The Pretender" is ironic and bitter, indirectly asking "Why are you doing what you're doing? Is it living, or just kind of droning along?"

By the summer of 2005 I was tired of working for the Army. I'd lost whatever respect I'd had for the Pentagon-ish paper soldiers; these people were NOT at war like the real soldiers who were fighting and dying in our nation's wars. They were all pretense and small ambitions, all noise and fart, and no sense. I was tired of coping with a boss who hated his job and avoided it as often as possible. It was time for me to go; the question was, "When, Lord?" It was waiting time.

And then the waiting was over, just like that, when I heard "The Pretender" on the radio while driving into work. I'd served my time, and now I could be free. A boss-lunch, some paperwork and 6 months later, I was early-retired. The Pretending was over; Life abundant began. And the way God showed me the moment was through a simple song by a secular songwriter.

I'm going to rent myself a house
In the shade of the freeway
I'm going to pack my lunch in the morning
And go to work each day
And when the evening rolls around
I'll go on home and lay my body down
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again
Amen
Say it again
Amen

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening
I've been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it's the wink of an eye
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again
Amen

Caught between the longing for love
And the struggle for the legal tender
Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring
And the junk man pounds his fender
Where the veterans dream of the fight
Fast asleep at the traffic light
And the children solemnly wait
For the ice cream vendor
Out into the cool of the evening
Strolls the pretender
He knows that all his hopes and dreams
Begin and end there

Ah the laughter of the lovers
As they run through the night
Leaving nothing for the others
But to choose off and fight
And tear at the world with all their might
While the ships bearing their dreams
Sail out of sight

I'm going to find myself a girl
Who can show me what laughter means
And we'll fill in the missing colors
In each others paint-by-number dreams
And then we'll put out dark glasses on
And we'll make love until our strength is gone
And when the morning light comes streaming in
We'll get up and do it again
Get it up again

I'm going to be a happy idiot
And struggle for the legal tender
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and the soul of the spender
And believe in whatever may lie
In those things that money can buy
Thought true love could have been a contender
Are you there?
Say a prayer for the pretender
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender